I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I can't put those talents on a resume
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
