I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm just crazy horny about you
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
