omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
