it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He passed out mid-signature
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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