That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize