I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
