Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
