its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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