If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
