Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize