How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Why is your signature on my underwear?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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