All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
