I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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