Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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