I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
