so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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