i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
