it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
