I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
