Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
