If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize