dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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