i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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