We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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