pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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