This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
