What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize