dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
That reminds me...we need to get swords
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We left the knife in your bed.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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