I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
