you guys were way drunker than both of me
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
