why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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