Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
