Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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