Dual....:-)
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
