She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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