She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
