I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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