i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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