Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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