wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
