The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
