i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
