Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I don't deserve a penis
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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