Christians are straight up FREAKS
Your tits are I can't wait for
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
