If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
