didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
