why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
