You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
