so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
