Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
