That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
