she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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