but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
