I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
