Apparently you make a good broom.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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