some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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