I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
