3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
