It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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