she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
this hospital has no fireball
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize