There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
